Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Strategery


I think the best of Saturday Night Live comes around every four years. It's probably the only thing that keeps them from being canceled, if you ask me.

I think one of the best one liners came from the first Bush/Gore debate of 2000.



Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find the video of the second debate, but you may remember it. Bush had been criticized for not knowing much about foreign policy, so in an effort to remedy this, he names as many world leader names as possible. I'm so bummed I couldn't find the video, it was hilarious.

Anyway, it would seem our industrious candidate in the first has taken a lesson from the SNL playbook.

The strategery? Name as many towns in the first district as possible. And when he runs out of towns, say "Kansas" as much as possible. (pst St. Francis, Syracuse, Scott City)

Exhibit 1: Rob's most recent fund raising letter:
As the son of a truck driver who ran a dairy route stretching from Hays to Hillsboro and Hutchinson and back, I know the value of hard-earned dollar and a good day of work.
I know, they all start with 'H'. Very strange. What else starts with H that would trigger a subconscious list like that? Weird. (pst, Colby, Garden City, Medicine Lodge...)

Exhibit 2: Rob's updated website:
I am the son of two hard working parents from Hays, Kansas. We all drove back to Hays together.
Well, okay. I admit this may be more like a half an exhibit than a full one. But hey, he's kind of limited in towns he has a connection to, give him a break. What's he going to say, "Vote for me, I once had to stop for gas in Salina on the way back to Hays where I used to live with my aunt." (pst Goodland, Tribune/Greeley County, Elkhart)

Exhibit 3: Rob's updated campaign finance reports:
FEC FORM 2
STATEMENT OF CANDIDACY
FILING FEC-401797
1. Robert K Wasinger
NOTE: Address is different than previously reported
309 Oak Street
Cottonwood Falls, KS 66845-6845
This is interesting because it was filed two days after his finance report and more than a month after Wasinger told a Hutch News reporter he had already bought a house in Hays. It was also more than a month after listing his new Cottonwood Falls address for a reimbursement to himself for travel to an out of state fund raiser. (pst economic development) I guess maybe Rob was hoping no one would notice he changed his address to an empty house. (pst Emporia, McPherson, Council Grove)

Exhibit 4: Rob's new 'About' page - "Kansas" appears 25 times.

Hey, did I mention I'm from Kansas? You're from Kansas! Hey, I'm from Kansas! You know, we Kansans (who are from Kansas) should get together, Kansas, and talk about how great Kansas is, Kansas. We'll meet up, Kansas, sometime, Kansas, in Kansas, Kansas. (pst Great Bend, Hoisington, Lakin)

Exhibit 5: Very questionable judgment on this one, but here it is; attack liberals.
But I need your help to get elected to Congress. Right now, liberals are already attacking me.
Rob! Liberal is in the first district! (Kansas!) You need the votes man! Besides, I've been to Liberal. Every now and then they kind of flip out (once a year while running to be exact) but hey, a vote's a vote, right? (pst Hoxie, Bird City, Oberlin)

And of course, what strategery would be complete without turning the tables. Did you hear Huelskamp isn't from Kansas? Didn't want to come back when he was in high school? (pst Concordia, Clay Center, Glasgow)

I always say the best defense is a good offense. So I'm sure everyone will want to stay tuned this weekend when I tell you who's behind the videos you can find on KSNBC-01.

They're the unbiased, balanced ones.

(You know the only thing that would make this funnier is if I could find a widget that showed how many out of state people that check this blog are going to google maps right now to find these towns.)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I heard that Tim Huelskamp got a foot massage today in Topeka... 50% OFF!!!

AHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!

Anonymous said...

AND THIS IS TIM OPENING A BEER WITH HIS SMALL FEET ---

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWHyvuBiYi0&feature=related

UT OH.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't widget sort of sound like midget???

Anonymous said...

Huelskamp's Santa Fe friends liked small feet.

Anonymous said...

HH, please investigate and tell me if Rob took money from a Hillary Clinton donor.

Anonymous said...

HH,

Please investigate and tell me if Tiny Shoez got a major deal on his last foot massage.

farmerjoe said...

I don't know anything about Rob taking money from a Hillary donor.

Anonymous said...

so is tim like a typical midget in that he has a low self esteem? It seems like it farmer joe.

So if tiny shoes tim is the same as farmer joe, that means that they are both midgets with small self esteem.

I love midgets though. They are soo funny. I like it when they dance.

Can you dance for us tiny shoes timmy? I hope that that is the next viral vid that comes out.

hahahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha!

Just like that elton john song,

"So hold me closer tiny dancer!Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today"

farmer joe you should tell tiny tim that that should be his campaign song.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3ppoX4bVTQ

This guy even looks like tiny tim, except with more hair.

Anonymous said...

ti-ti-ti-timmy and the mi-JETS!

Timmy, timmy, timmay and the mi-jets!

Anonymous said...

HH,

Please investigate and arrest Rob Wasinger for taking money from someone who donated to hillary. We cannot take any of that kind of dissent in the conservative movement.

HH we desperately need you to be the money and thought police for this election, being that you are the most unbiased source to get information in the first.

Thank you HH for your service to our great district.